Beer Poetry

Other topics - beer-related or not.

Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Wednesday Jun 24, 2009 10:15 pm

<untitled lost song lyrics from 1914>

dear Beerist
whom i love so deep
keep me near to your cool heart
that we be
somewhat in love
though i must consume you like a
praying mantis
Oh sing to me
in joyous bubbles that float
drinking away these idle years
frolicking on green lawns
throwing back pilsners as the pale moon
creeps away to the reveal the dreaded war dawn
you're long gone replaced by empties
to live on only in this song
is barren yet fulfilling

<burp>
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby ryan » Thursday Jun 25, 2009 7:29 am

http://www.mp3.com.au/Track.asp?id=10231

ah, such a wordsmith, such a dedication. :cry:

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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Friday Oct 09, 2009 4:39 pm

bad beer [song lyrics]

bad beer is here
everywhere
on the tv making fun of all you dick-head beer-mad connoisseurs
on billboards promoting Bud to pull the easy n wet chicks
in magazines telling you that Cold is filtered and clean
on the sports field, yeah Boonie lives on VB
(truth is he hates that f---ing crap)

Chorus
f---ing lies, f---ing lies
f---ing lies

i've tried so hard to drink this shit
i've tried so hard only because it's so cheap
and the pub rips me off whenever i drink Coopers
but my senses are beginning to numb
i'll turn into a VB zombie if i continue to drink this shit

Chorus

(spoken)
market this shit for us
we made it real cheap
need to off load
Australia, what a dumb-ass backwater country
ha ha ha we relabeled this shit as Stella and Becks

Chorus

bad beer forms like tainted water in your mouth
washes down with nothing lingering
just the chemical after-taste
and the thought of being
taken for a ride

bad beer
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby Bum » Friday Oct 09, 2009 4:57 pm

I do not want to hear the music that is going to make that scan.
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Friday Oct 09, 2009 5:57 pm

Dammit. Youtube just pulled my uploaded music [casio] vid due to "language concerns"...
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Sunday Nov 15, 2009 9:09 am

[OT] It's the silly season again...

Christmas Hiss

the Christmas cry is a hiss
the joy soon forgotten
as is our hours spent typing away
fingers worn down and ground
houses bent over in gale forces
dinners bent over tables, fork and spoons at the ready
backs to the wire frame chairs
feet to the stairs we climb to bed
limbs barely moving
feet stink
sink overflowing in semi-washed plates
cups and all manner of materialism
pessimistic bunch of time wasting Westerners
all lined up for boxing day specials and our
usual parades of bullshit

snakes in the long un-mowed grass hiss...

(2004)
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Monday Mar 15, 2010 10:10 pm

Beer Bottles

beer
pull the cap off
watch the bubbles appear
<burp>
sip it slow
or
guzzle it down
suck on it
the tit, the bottle
or
pour it fast into glass
look awkward as glass foams over
ha ha George Bush
<burp>
hold it, the stubbie
a woman in your hand
na, made of blown up glass
fake, like the classic coke bottle
what the hell
wank it til it blows
then
throw it away
another empty
<burp>
crawl to the kitchen
despair at the empty fridge
time for bed
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Thursday Mar 18, 2010 1:39 pm

I drink (the meaning of life)

i drink and i fall away
into a place a time a zone a trance a truth
alone i sit the bar is barren bar the maid her smile her glance her small talk
but lurking in this town this place this pub this water hole
words and gossip and tongues and loose speak
most of it lies some of it truth
caused by
temptation in skirts high heels makeup and teeth
i drink for relief
service her needs
wait til payday and
weigh into it all again
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Thursday Mar 18, 2010 2:11 pm

Pub Types

pubs are filled with all matter of
punters
drifters
loners
bikers
moaners
cloak and daggar types
protitutes
a bloke at the jukebox selecting Angie
Rolling Stones
a religious moron from the Hills (Song Church)
girl with a flower tat
she smiles too much at the bar waitress
gropes at her hand as she accepts the change
someone else, unremarkable, an accountant perhaps
calling in for drinks after work
lurkers smoke outside
f--- shit and c--- is all they have to say
a suicider having last drinks
trashing himself before death via the Sydney harbour bridge
politicians drawing up plans on back of beer coaters
developers handing over money
all so different, yet
everyone stares at Beyonce naked on the plasma
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Thursday Mar 18, 2010 2:37 pm

The Wrinkly Old Beer Man

i am the wrinkly old beer man
years i was clean
didn't drink or swear or smoke
did f--- all on reflection
then i met some blonde
had to have just a sip
she was bubbly and you know the rest
before i knew it, a full on affair
f---ing her 24/7 365 days of the year
but, ended in despair : (
found her one day empty
her replacement was rather pale but nice
but she didn't stay long either, quickly gone
replaced by my true love, amber
she sobered me up talked to me of God
converted me to hills song philosophy
where lost all my money
ended up 360
back on the bottle and talking to
some old Stout 'bout growing old without spite
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Thursday Dec 23, 2010 7:31 pm

If I Drink Too Much...

if i drink too much
tell me
spell it out
don't let me just sit here making a fool of myself
writing such shit
call up the doctors who can analyze, condemn
and recommend medicine
for we men run round like mice in life's skinner-box
alcohol and women our only reward
i saliva at the bar every time I see her
for i associate her with beer as she take my money and pours
oh glorious beer
but some reward as i puke in the cubicle and flush
tossed out fighting off laughing bouncers
ignored and/or avoided by passers-by and the
cabs that can slaughter the unwary walker
walking home as the storm gathers and lightening please just end it now for
my head soars with feelings for her and the pain of the morning to come
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby ryan » Friday Dec 24, 2010 11:11 am

Bravo !
Bravo!
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Monday Aug 01, 2011 10:09 am

bad beer [song lyrics]

bad beer is here
everywhere
on the tv making fun of all you dick-head beer-mad connoisseurs
on billboards promoting Bud...

Bum wrote:I do not want to hear the music that is going to make that scan.


http://www.myspace.com/572034292 :shock:
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby Sonny » Tuesday Aug 23, 2011 9:45 pm

Not poetry, but cold hard fact. Maybe!


Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
Babe Ruth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Lyndon B. Johnson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Paul Horning
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
I think not."
H. L.. Mencken
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
George Bernard Shaw
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
W. C. Fields
Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.
Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group Salvation in a can!
Leo Durocher
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the " Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Image
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the copper said that he'd 'been waiting all day for me to come along', I replied I got here as faaaast as I could!
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Friday Aug 26, 2011 9:19 pm

Bum wrote:I do not want to hear the music that is going to make that scan.


What about this one then :shock:

http://www.myspace.com/572034292/music/ ... 3-83814076
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Tuesday Feb 28, 2012 11:17 am

Oliver's US beer tour got me thinking...

On the Porch with a Beer

on the porch we can sit and wonder
look out to the stillness of the night or bright call of day
sit back and sip from the bottle
the beer is pale and fruity and well, nice
spice for this meaningless daily life

when the bread we eat is bland and plain
when the shops all close
surrounding houses boarded up
people disappeared, killed, or hibernating like bears ever since
those redundancy letters were given
there's still the porch and beer

there's the porch and beer

the timber below needs some oil but
oil needs money and so does beer
the basement is my cellar and sometimes I brew to get by
on the weekends I deal and steal and make out with the
girl on welfare across the tracks so I can get a feed from her fridge
then, with what's left, buy more beer
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Tuesday Feb 28, 2012 12:22 pm

bar waitress

in the upstairs apartment she murmurs for hours with a novel and cigarettes
'till she falls into sleep with the cig still burning, sheets nearby
the alarm prompts her it's time, time, time, TIME; her shift
customers are impatient, rude so she tells them: f--- off; keep your f---ing tips
the kitchen staff are vacant, drugged up, unqualified, disorientated and drowning in fat.
the bar owner an asshole
when it gets too much she can walk 'round back and lite up, hide
as the trucks pull up with deliveries
garbage spilled over
manager paying off health inspectors with 100 dollar bills
hourly rate is compensated for by stealing whatever isn't tied down
thoughts of arson occur hourly
exhausted, shift over, multiple vodka shots her only kicks
nightly dreams are of 'black smoke, three headed horses
work on an invention that would mask
the stench of cigs and beer
the safe in the backroom isn't well protected
but it's heavy and a forklift or welding equipment probably required'
as the alarm sounds, must wake, wake, wake, WAKE; another f---ing shift
still little money
jesus f--- what's left for me here
the axe may fall tonight
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Tuesday Feb 28, 2012 1:08 pm

places

it isn't just the beer
but the place
lounge room, bar room, sofa in front of TV
places age, so does beer, and so do we
in her kitchen seated on the bench top with Corona in 1990
talking the usual shit
On the beach at Raglan in 94 bonfire and Lion beer
much simpler palates back then
places are fixtures
waiting in time to be erected, then rejected, torn down
or just burdened by the ravagers of time
weathered stone all that's left of some Roman bar
where the wood has given way to arson
or to markets and population shifts
closed down, renovating, a bereavement in the family
somehow the beer still flows long after we and these places are gone
and when it does, a little of us in each ml
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Tuesday Feb 28, 2012 1:38 pm

Last Drinks

one day will come a day
last drinks
mournfully alone

surrounded by old, playing bridge
playing piano for the old bird who catches your eye
lining up as the matron dispenses medication you shouldn't mix
drink, drink, and drink, for what else is left?
in the corridor there's a life extinguisher
just break glass

in my bed with smuggled in beer I drink
and medication I mix
on into the darkness that follows the fake approaching light
drink, last drinks, to the memories of girls and sin
drink, last drinks, to the dreary words of priestly falsehoods
rise above it all, sink into the quicksand
sip and slip away
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Tuesday Feb 28, 2012 2:11 pm

Sad Town Draught

sad town draught
population 100, one pub, one car per hour
no more farmers since the drought took hold

meat raffle on Sundays
3 snags, one steak
4 tickets sold

sad town draught
2 beers on tap
Carlton and New

no money
the barmaid reads Mills and Boon between schooners
waits for her saviour to roll into town

sad town draught
the kids are bused to school in the neighboring town
the parents stay at home to drink and fight

the floor gives way to termites
the roof leaks and the walls mildew
six months unpaid rent but what can the landlord do?

in the lounge room, Friday night, a shotgun goes off and several people lay dead
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