Beer Poetry

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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Tuesday Feb 28, 2012 2:40 pm

Courtyard blues

the courtyard is the afterthought
the place for smokers
exposed to wind, rain, harsh sun, and bird shit
there I sit though breathing in secondhand smoke
there I sit with my Coopers
not knowing if the kitchen will f--- up my food order again
isolated from the fun inside
sitting on the outside, cold
almost like that Chisel song
waiting waiting for the waitresses attention
her smile her time her talk
her hand that delivers another
"yeah, another pale"
beer
of course us outsiders must sit and wonder
do those through the glass have it all figured out
or are they just the happy morons living in ignorant bliss?
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Saturday Apr 07, 2012 4:45 pm

We Drinkers

we drinkers we
we wee
we wee wee
after two schooners we are a goner
wee
we wee wee
all the time heading back and forth
the bar the bog the bar the bog the bar
sometimes when I get so pissed it's the Ladies
oops sorry ladies
then I pass out and sleep and a piss-puddle forms
in my dreams I'm paddling down rapids
thru drunkin' sleepy towns of Denmark
past the drunkin' hollow sounds that
cum from the whore houses of Eastbourne
on into the light
daylight
stale beer splashed onto my face
and a barmaid screamin'
'get outta this f---ing place'
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Thursday Jun 07, 2012 6:45 pm

Da Beerz – song lyrics
For Adam Yauch. RIP. Sing [overdub] to almost any Beastie Boys song.

da beerz
do the rounds on the tables
on the floor
SMASHED!
like the punters drinkin’
swearin’, fightin’, lightin’ up, fighting
‘till it gets oh so tiring
walkin’ to the 7-Eleven but it’s only 5 to 10
wearin’ trackies and going inside to steal carefully
concealed snacks
SNACK ATTACK!
pot makes one hungry…
and when one gets the munchies only one thing to wash it down
da beerz
da beerz
f--- off all you morons – and Mormons too for that matter - who don’t understand
this is hip hop and we live in a hip hop land
and da beez is ourz energy drink
forget all that coca-cola mixer shit
da beerz, da beerz, da beerz, da beerz
<burp>
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Thursday Jun 07, 2012 9:21 pm

Pisstown

pisstown
the walk is a long way
yet I walk on and on towards pisstown
i may never get there
i’ll probably die trying
but I’ll keep on this journey towards pisstown
if the money runs out
i’ll hold up a bottle store.
if there’s prohibition I’ll learn to brew or
sneak into Speakeasies and give out the password – “pisstown”
on the journey I’ll probably meet some interesting characters
and people who divert their eyes
smiling sympathetic barmaids
taxi drivers pissed off with all the vomit
women who come and go with cold dinners to go
welfare, stealing, prison, endless in and out, and back to juvenile
as I succumb to old age, senility, park benches and
Canberra winters
and pass away unheard of
ever again
never did make it to pisstown
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby Sonny » Thursday Jun 07, 2012 10:24 pm

A beer out the back, on the verandah.
I'm hanging out with Jack, and talking some properganda.

I'm actually looking forward to getting back, 'cause I can tell now that Jack's a bit under.
I'm really bloody lookin' forward to hitting the sack, because all I can hear is thunder.

Yep, that's it for me, I'm leaving the verandah and I'm taking all of my plunder
For tomorrow I'll do a runner, and I'm tellin' ya bloody mother!
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the copper said that he'd 'been waiting all day for me to come along', I replied I got here as faaaast as I could!
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Monday Oct 29, 2012 7:31 pm

Livestock

the livestock on their bar stools
drinking heavily all the while being
milked for all their money
the livestock think they're smart
keep track of time by counting drinks
1, 2, 7, 12, can't remember
counting money is an art form
80,45,15, fiver is all I have left
back to the paddock to chew more gum
get the sack
get another job lazy
bum another cigarette
phone in sick from the bar
no free lunches though
we're all Howard working class conservatives now
hey livestock, over here
like being herded by the sheep?
ignore the weirdos who congregate outside
the junkies and the shit-faced neglected housing commission kids
the whores and the taxi drivers waiting to be raped and/or stabbed
ignore the wankers looking for a Friday night fight
ignore your phone, just your whinging phoney wife
focus
take your seat again its 5 o'clock: drinking time
take your wallet and and hold it high
open wide while the pub slits your throat
Last edited by lob on Monday Oct 29, 2012 7:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Monday Oct 29, 2012 7:43 pm

Footballers

had their fill, exit the pub it's 1am
find their way by watching the curbside
notice how it falls away to the road-abattoir
where that truck took some poor sod only last week
they have wives and kids and pets
but mates take precedence
f--- the ferry, let's swim to Manly
climb something
dive off the bridge if we could get through this f---ing barricade
go up to the Cross
car surf back down William
maybe get some hookers, some slags in need of a gangbang
the piss is pouring out or is it raining?
maybe that tab of speed
really not sure
hopefully we win the finals
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Monday Oct 29, 2012 8:12 pm

Vomit

bueeer, yuuuuuk
happy now you f---ing toilet bowl
yuuuuuuuuerk. f---
run the tap
water. natures mouth-wash
coffee. need fix.
f--- that instant or espresso
turn on the percolator
yeah, coffee of yesteryear
and cheap aldi aspirin whatever
useless
toilet bowl again
yuuuuuuuuuuurerkk
yellow puss all the discernible substances gone
flush away
f---ing wall my head = pain momentarily dead
gyprock breaks so easily
10 am and off to bed
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Monday Oct 29, 2012 8:45 pm

When Drunk

when drunk remember the rules
don't drool or fall off your stool
don't drive and get caught (take the back roads)
try not to impress the girl too much
keep her level with your blood-alco level
that way she sees you as some handsome bargain
(not the ugly hunchback from Wellington)
and you see her as beautiful easy and willing
(not some slag Ozzy bitch just itching for it)
try not to vomit
but if you must
excuse yourself and walk somewhat upright
accidental to the ladies where you
apologize profusely whilst trying not to perv
then run to the bog
vomit it all out because all over her is not a good look
yeah, and when drunk remember to order a few more
and down lots of methos
cause there's always the danger that the cops are
around the corner
back at her flat
screw her
wake up
try to remember
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Monday Oct 29, 2012 9:15 pm

The Waitress

the waitress has her way
doesn't really serve
just seems so
sees us all as jokers
juggling the pathetic miserable balls tossed to us by fate
she really just observes
writing that novel in her head
that she'll never fully write down
never get published
that's just bullshit anyhoot
wankers and stuck-up-types sucking up for monetary glory
f--- them, f--- them all she thinks
as she pours the beer and watches, observers
later she wanders about the premises
wonders aloud
'how the f--- do these wankers think so highly?'
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Friday Feb 15, 2013 8:00 pm

And the Beer Flowed

and the beer flowed
and so did the money
out of the ordinary
the customary
into the coffers
of rich wanky tossers
who printed up the tele
that told you what to think
...(finish this later. too drunk.)
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby ryan » Sunday Dec 29, 2013 4:28 pm

Come on lob, you`ve had 10 months to finish this one, that Broome Pale Ale must be getting a bit of a hiding by now.

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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby Tipsy » Monday Dec 30, 2013 7:16 am

longest bender he's ever had.
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Tuesday Dec 31, 2013 4:19 am

The "bender" was when I was writing the poetry ;-)
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby ryan » Tuesday Dec 31, 2013 1:57 pm

I don`t know why lob, but every time I read your stuff I am reminded of Leonard Cohen.

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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby bullfrog » Thursday Jan 02, 2014 4:02 pm

ryan wrote:I don`t know why lob, but every time I read your stuff I am reminded of Leonard Cohen.

ryan.

He should write a poetic polemic on Tooheys New and call it "Famous Blue Label."
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Friday Jan 03, 2014 4:29 am

oh the last time we drank ya
you had no aroma
your famous blue label was torn at the corner...
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Here We Are

Postby lob » Friday Jan 03, 2014 3:52 pm

here we are
drunk and ready
piss is full
but hands are steady
here we are full of beer
looking like deer in headlights
we steer
here we are young but old
here we are old but young
here we are
the drinking ready
take it all
already
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Thursday Feb 20, 2014 3:46 pm

Have Another Beer

drunk late at night
the music plays low
hide in my chair
tear-up at the thought
this is all there is
what did i miss?

then the thought occurs
i reach for another beer
and realise
it's steering me in the face
like the loyal dog, Blue
there's nothing more to do

relax and wait until
the end rears its f---ing head
but until then
party on
remember the good times
forget the bullshit
have another beer
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Re: Beer Poetry

Postby lob » Thursday Feb 20, 2014 4:00 pm

And the Beer Flowed

and the beer flowed
and so did the money
out of the ordinary
the customary
into the coffers
of rich wanky tossers
who printed up the Tele
that told you what to think

look into your drink
and see nothing
like your wallet
your job
your wife
your home
your f---ing life

they're building Barangaroo
where workers, like you
once worked hard
then walked to the pub
now they're driving past and laughing
tossers, assholes

you're f---ed
like Rebekah Brooks
but Murdoch, Bob Carr & co are still sitting pretty
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