From:
lob@broomepaleale.com.au
To:
marketing_dept@ripoffbrewers.com.au
I just cashed up all my Google and Apple shares. It came to about 8 million; even I was shocked. Anyways, look, I've always wanted my own brewery. Sounds like a lot of hard work though. Also, I have no talent for brewing. But I read on your website you guys not only have a large industrial-sized brewing operation in Campbelltown, you also do all the brewing in house for other clients; You even employ your own headbrewer. Look, what I want is this: A straight forward Pale Ale that your headbrewer can devise. Don't spend too much...trying to keep overheads low. I've come up with a brand name, which I've registered: Broome Pale Ale. The label will basically say:
"In 1864...bla bla bla...someone famous [not sure who yet we'll sort this out later]...rode into town...thirsty, etc etc...brewed his own beer. 150 years later, Broome Pale Ale continues the tradition; It is without doubt WA's finest brew."
I've paid a large sum of money to a graphic design studio to come up with a label. The draft looks pretty good. It's got some camels walking along the beach at dusk, etc.
My only concern of course is you guys are based in Campbelltown, Sydney. I actually live in the ACT myself. - Will we have to disclose this on the label? I mean, neither of us lives anywhere near Western Australia. To be honest I've never even been to WA.
From
jim.marketing_dept@ripoffbrewers.com.au
To:
lob@broomepaleale.com.au
Thanks lob for your interest in our business. Yeah we can do everything for you from creating the recipe, brewing, bottling, labels...absolutely everything.
In regards to the brewery being in Campbelltown and your business being in Canberra. Pretty simple work around: Just make sure you open an office, or something in Broome, even a PO Box. That way the label can read something along the lines of: "Brewed under License of Broome Pale Ale 23 Smith St Broome by Ripoff Brewers." Trust me, your average Aussie won't work it out. 95 to 99% of them will be convinced this beer comes from a small microbrewery near the beach somewhere in Broome.
From:
lob@broomepaleale.com.au
To:
jim.marketing_dept@ripoffbrewers.com.au
What about distribution?
From:
jim.marketing_dept@ripoffbrewers.com.au
To:
lob@broomepaleale.com.au
No probs. We've got a good working relationship with Dan Murphys and 1st Choice. Also, if your product is mentioned in their advertised on their websites or newspapers etc it'll always be listed as a "WA craft beer."
From:
lob@broomepaleale.com.au
To:
jim.marketing_dept@ripoffbrewers.com.au
Mate you're a legend. I actually contacted Tim Winton, you know the author, and told him about the product and offered him a large sum of $$$$ to help market the beer. He told me "You can shove your fake f---ing beer up your..." Can you believe that? Some people eh.
From:
jim.marketing_dept@ripoffbrewers.com.au
To:
lob@broomepaleale.com.au
Mate you should read the tripe spewed out on some of the online beer forums in regards to brewed under license beer...some of these people are just lefty morons concerned over nothing. We're trying to run a f---ing business here! We're the 1% keeping these pathetic dumbfuckers in jobs. Give me your contact details, and I'll have Sally from Sales call you first thing Monday.
Broome Pale Ale. WA's Finest Craft Beer.