This is delicate and need mature advise.

[lang]

I was putting down another two brews today (lagers) and my dear wife said "why do you need more beer, you have 285 bottles hidden away as it is". Hidden!.
There was a long silence and I said 'really?' she said 'I can count you know'..I said 'they need to mature'
She said ' I know what needs to mature' I kicked one foot against the other and then came the knife twist, 'plus the others in your shed'
"You mean we have visitors?'"
Gave me the 'look'.
The question is, do I look around for a second wife and double up on brewing, so as to maintain the balance..

[goq11k_76]

maturing or ageing.....

there is a big difference

I like to call it ageing

maturing is something your mum wished you did, not your wife

[svyturys]

This sounds like one of those situations where the same scene would have been enacted if you had a six pack of VB "hidden" in the fridge....and that was the only beer in the house. (I could be wrong)
I take it that your better half doesn't drink beer.
Does she drink wine?
If she does,...does she have a "cellar"? ( Wines in a rack or whatever?)

Cheers

[billybushcook]

The question is, do I look around for a second wife and double up on brewing, so as to maintain the balance..

A second wife? Are you mad????.......Isn't one enough trouble, I know mine is!!!!!
I waited n'til mid 30's to get married & it was still 30 yrs too early!!

Beer on the shelf, is money in the bank!!!!
Money saved is money earnt, I reckon!!

Mick.

[tazman67]

Id try and make something for her....a Beer, Cider etc...something she likes..

[Anna]

Id try and make something for her....a Beer, Cider etc...something she likes..

Good advice - make her some ginger beer or a sweet cider! I do the brewing, BH does the drinking (of the beer - I hate it myself). My problem is that I keep trying to hide some bottles to "age" but he keeps finding them - and drinking them. I haven't been able to age anything past 3 weeks yet!

OR - get another wife who's a home brewer, like me! (No, not offering myself - sorry) Anna

[WSC]

Have kids...that way she is too busy to be worried about your brewing. Then do a few little easy jobs round the house ..oh and be a little bit supportive from time to time.......a bit of effort up front makes things a lot easier .....happy wife = happy life!!!

Agree with the make ginger beer comment or do what i do....brew for 'christmas presents'!!!! for some reason that justifies it???

[goq11k_76]

....brew for 'christmas presents'!!!! for some reason that justifies it???

I dont know what justifies brewing more than drinking

[warra48]

OK, OK, OK, OK, how about a kicker to get SWMBO or HWMBO off your back?

Tell her/him that the longer you condition/age your beers, the smoother the beer, the better the flavour, and the lower the alcohol content, as alcohol is used up in converting fusels to flavour components with age. After all, I wouldn't drink my Grange before at least 15 years of age, so it's the same with beer.
You do this to ensure you are at your best to be attentive to all her/his needs.

Of course, you could always get her/him into drinking your HB, which will give you a good reason to brew twice as much.

[Tipsy]

piss 'er off

[warra48]

piss 'er off

Not likely, when she's the best eeeerrrr he's ever had.........
PS: Fusils do not disappear with age, but beers do get smoother as they mature/condition/age.
Tell SWMBO that the longer you know her, the more attractive she becomes as a woman to you, and the more you admire her more rounded and developed character and intellect, while maintaining her early twenties like figure.
Same with beers.
Further PS: mrs warra really does have the same figure she did when we were married, and hasn't put on any weight at all. I guess I struck the jackpot with her.

[4x4xfar]

You are the original "Woman Whisperer" arent you Warra?

[warra48]

This is me whispering to my granddaughter.
As you can see, she's fascinated by what I'm telling her.

[billybushcook]

Further PS: mrs warra really does have the same figure she did when we were married, and hasn't put on any weight at all. I guess I struck the jackpot with her.

Jack pot alright, my missus got a cute little tattoo of a pony on her butt when we first met,
Bloody thing grew up to be a Clydsdale!!!

Mick.

[hyjak]

Further PS: mrs warra really does have the same figure she did when we were married, and hasn't put on any weight at all. I guess I struck the jackpot with her.

Jack pot alright, my missus got a cute little tattoo of a pony on her butt when we first met,
Bloody thing grew up to be a Clydsdale!!!

Mick.

Funny stuff!

[Bizier]

Bloody thing grew up to be a Clydsdale!!!

Hahahahahahaha!
Sounds like an avenue for a new Carlton Draught advertisement.

As you can see, she's fascinated by what I'm telling her.

Warra is an extraterrestrial being who communicates only through mental telepathy and brew forums... I am watching you.

[Bum]

Warra is an extraterrestrial being who communicates only through mental telepathy and brew forums

I heard he doesn't even use a keyboard for that!

[warra48]

[Adamsale]

the first K and K i did was 7 days from putting down to drinking...!!!! I also left a couple of bottles for 2 months to test the theory of longer the better the taste.....to me no difference, but now months on i am brewing extract and my own recipes and leaving at least 1 month in the bottle. I also quaff coopers mexican cerveza inbetween as 15 bucks for 23L. How do you get 235 bottles without drinking.??????? nun or vicar.?

[warra48]

How do you get 235 bottles without drinking.??????? nun or vicar.?

Simple.
Brew more frequently than your standard consumption requires.

In my case, I'm not a big drinker, averaging 2 stubbies a day.
Thus, I need to brew every 4 weeks to feed my average consumption.
If I brew every 3 weeks, I gradually build up stocks.

You can also get another fermenter or two, so you have more than one brew on the go.

Other than that, I guess it's down to willpower.