Beer Poetry

[lob]

Palmerston North Pubs

Palmerston North pubs are like nothing else
that's where John Clarke came from
people think he was a Melbourne Boy
no, he was Manawatu, New Zealand, through and through

Palmerston North pubs are segregated
Maori and rugby, his and hers
there’s the lounge bar, there's the place where cover bands play Dire Straits and bore
if you’re lucky, Sam Hunt will visit and read some BS he’s written while pissed on
cask wine and homemade beer

if unlucky
the bouncers will throw you into the cold Palmy concrete
where you’ll cry all night long
wake up to the sound of council workers
walk back to your student flat
never look back

[lob]

Red Wine, Cohen and Piano

red wine, Cohen, and piano
reaching back, back to you
alcohol and 300 plus albums
turntable and beers
dylan and even elton
whatever, MOR will do

dancing on nothing
fumes of cheap grog
part-time chef job
late night wasting away
partying in Palmy flat rooms

music muted
philosophy and science
drinking and forgetting the bland future
the failures to come

[lob]

The Foul-Mouthed Chef

the foul-mouthed chef who cannot be fired
cannot be hired, elsewhere
stands there, in his kitchen, and swears
drinks beer, vodka, gin, anything available

cooks under the influence
a true artist
depressed, pure, uncompromised
completely over all the culinary bullshit

ignores the books, magazines, websites, social-media claptrap
cooks as he chooses
ignores the trends
drinks to forget
removed from the nightmare present

[lob]

The Drunkard Crosses

the drunkard crosses
entire families wiped out on roads
white crosses

houso fuckwits SBS satirizes
fun, spoof, hilarious
drugs, booze, partying, injecting
get behind the wheel
the drunkard crosses
entire families wiped out on roads

black spots, white crosses
white, killer, trash...

[lob]

Drunkards, Backyards

drunkards, backyards
Jehovah witnesses, front door
girl with tats, tattoo parlor
my weak stomach, vomit, toilet

drunkards, backyards
dogs, lounge room sofas
cats, peering down from roof tops
illegal fireworks, Fyshwick

bonfires
fake fights
steaks
silhouettes

sausages sizzle
the music pumps
cops arrive
tasers, somehow we survive

[lob]

Get Pissed

get pissed
it's on your bucket list

already ticked off
rub it out, start over

everything else can wait 'tll
after death

[lob]

Wall of Spirits

wall of spirits
pour me another
cost I do not care
send me away to happy reminiscing misery
wall of spirits don’t disappoint
don’t be tended by arrogance or fake
give me a sympathetic ear
when i drink and tear-up
keep the bar dark, mostly empty
play Ella

[lob]

Beer Day

every day is beer day
no flag waving
no utes
nothing to protest about
except, maybe, the crap beer range at the local
no patriotic nonsense
leave that for brain-dead Trump-voting Americans
every day is beer day
get rid of all holidays, religious or invasion related
just have beer, every day

[lob]

Kitchens At Parties

kitchens at parties
that's where the sink is
where benchtops become seats
everything confined
and somehow, with drink, one can confide in
another soul
conversation in sync

in the loud lounge
80's synths and shit-chosen vinyl
the extroverts hang out and wonder
how you were ever invited

on the balcony star-gazers await their fate
termites have eaten down every supportive post

the front lawn dwellers who like to intellectualize whilst pissed
inviting passers-by not so much to gate crash
but to listen to
their endless bullshit brilliance

next to the fridge
the calendar is hung
the days crossed off like empties...

[lob]

Drunk in Dunkirk

Gerries throwing grenades
can't stop the gin
or the dancing table-top girl-sin
spitfires shot-down
ships-downed
men drowned

pilots so brave
brave, on grog
writing letters feverously
sleeping, whenever one can
pin-ups
loose-ends, girl friend
torn-apart by war
drink-up
gear-up
fly across the channel
fire at the enemy
enemy fires back
going-down
incinerated
last thoughts, of her

in the cinema
same-old complaint
not much dialogue

[lob]

Lots of Empties

lots of empties reflect the parties i (never) host
or my ability to accumulate recyclables

there's no self-pity
just self-administered medicine, this latest drink

denial is good
and easier pissed

drinking is good
and easier in denial

half-baked dreams
beer-mats written with brilliant pissed-ideas in ink
don't give up your day job of drinking
she'd probably say
should she still be here

[lob]

Drinking, Laughing

drinking, laughing
thinking, nothing
sinking, further
paying, more, more
spilling, carpet
talking, slurred
sobriety, deferred
friends, frenemies
buying, rounds
driving, drunk
paying, more, more
every year
beer, gut
gutter you sleep
tonight

[lob]

Drink Up

drink up
your arm needs the exercise

drink up
every ml left there idle could conspire against you

drink up
it's what she wants, you in misery, of her memory

drink up
things are so down...why not

[lob]

Drivel

drivel
when drunk, and only semi-conscious
from the corner
this "poetry"
bullshit written on beer labels
dress codes

drivel
the tattooed doorman questioning your entering credentials
banter spoken at the bar by the fucktard one left to the girl two left
slurred words that order from your dribbling mouth
somehow, the barmaid deciphers

drivel
the newspaper sitting on the table
trump, trump, trump
the tv pumping semi-naked girl "music" vids
#metoo unaware

drivel
the pair of breast-enhanced girls who appear
selling the latest brewed under licence crap beer
#metoo unaware

drivel...

[lob]

Between Drinking

between drinking
real-world stuff
people and worrying
got my insides crying

between drinking
must think
must drive
work
try not to die while dry

between drinking
thoughts have too much clarity
not clouded
need the clouding comfort of a drink or two, three, four…

need to pass away the time
give cold reality another pass for the evening ahead...

[lob]

Drinking Alone

drinking alone
no one else, just Sarah Blasko
and she only exists as an mp3
not much comfort
the lyrics just reinforce my misery

drinking alone
go online
so connected, yet disconnected
go to the fridge
so cold, yet warm
beer. It stares right back

grab one
go outside
cold
stars shine from millennia ago
only have a blink to go

[lob]

Drunken Clowns

drunken clowns have no makeup
the circus is over
they’re in their trailer
drinking

drunken clowns know
it’s all just an act
life
work

the circus evolves
no more bearded ladies
no abused elephants
no dwarf is shot from a cannon

only drunken clowns…

[lob]

Falling Off the Wagon (song lyrics)

many people need help
help to fall off the wagon
there’s too many do-gooders
too much sobriety
i blame religion

many people need help
they can’t communicate
they need to put away the computer
put away silly books of talking snakes
flying horses
talking bushes
drink some vodka
join the party

chorus:
fall, fall, falling
falling off the wagon

many people need help
not to get back up
to let go

let, let, let go…

chorus

[lob]

The Trendy Party People

the trendy party people
buy their clothes from the salvos
pay top dollar
for old holy shit
sip at their bottled premixed drinks
listen to the dj
as he brags and spins the latest innovative tripe
the trendy party people
lip-sync to the dj-chosen shit
dance-away in all the trendy clubs
pop the pills
down them in vodka-soda-shit
pay top dollar for
bottled water

[lob]

Drunk-like Banter

drunk-like banter
not necessarily incoherent
just, probably
since
words are weird-like associations
sometimes broken
by
alcohol-indulgences
that sometimes start
five-past-four
doesn’t help
to be
phoned up by
long-forgotten acquaintance
in a short-dress
who knows how to impress
how to press
thankfully were not famous
we’d be
all over the papers