Seppo bastard seeks help learning Aussie slang

Rysa · Post by **Rysa** » Saturday Jun 02, 2007 2:50 am

KIP wrote: "Some folks ain't got the sense God give a retarded rubber duck."

That's great, sounds like a bloke i work with!

KIP · Post by **KIP** » Saturday Jun 02, 2007 6:15 am

velophile wrote:"Split the whisker"

Onya.

KIP · Post by **KIP** » Saturday Jun 02, 2007 6:20 am

Check this out, blokes. I found this on the Internet. I'm not sure but some of this may be more Kiwi slang than Aussie.

It was pissing-down, and I was pissed-off, so I pissed-off to the pisser to get on the piss. I was pissing-up-large, so pissed-off to the pisser for a piss in the piss-tin.

The piss was getting to me, and I got as pissed as a parrot. I went on to a piss up. And....

Wheww...

This old piss-pot was piss-crook in the morning.

Stop pissing yourself and piss off - it wasn't funny!

Sorry for all the piss-and-wind.

Cheers,
John

warra48 · Post by **warra48** » Saturday Jun 02, 2007 7:07 am

Busier than a one armed paper hanger with an itch.

Pointing the one eyed trouser snake at the porcelain.

blandy · Post by **blandy** » Saturday Jun 02, 2007 8:33 am

KIP wrote:Check this out, blokes. I found this on the Internet. I'm not sure but some of this may be more Kiwi slang than Aussie.

It was pissing-down, and I was pissed-off, so I pissed-off to the pisser to get on the piss. I was pissing-up-large, so pissed-off to the pisser for a piss in the piss-tin.

I take it you can't handle the pressure?

chris. · Post by **chris.** » Saturday Jun 02, 2007 10:33 am

KIP wrote:Check this out, blokes. I found this on the Internet. I'm not sure but some of this may be more Kiwi slang than Aussie.

Sounds like Aussie slang to me

KIP · Post by **KIP** » Saturday Jun 02, 2007 12:32 pm

blandy wrote:
KIP wrote:It was pissing-down, and I was pissed-off, so I pissed-off to the pisser to get on the piss. I was pissing-up-large, so pissed-off to the pisser for a piss in the piss-tin.
I take it yoy can't handle the pressure?

My eyes were turning yellow!

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Sunday Jun 03, 2007 11:13 am

As blind as a welders dog

As black as the dogs guts

As ugly as sin

geebz · Post by **geebz** » Monday Jun 04, 2007 10:40 am

driving the porcelin bus

hungry enough to eat the arse end out of a donkey

hungry enough to eat the crotch out of a prosties undies

tighter than a fishes arsehole.

tighter than a nuns nasty

geebz · Post by **geebz** » Monday Jun 04, 2007 10:42 am

more excuses than a pregnant nun

DJ · Post by DJ » Monday Jun 04, 2007 10:48 am

my mouth is as dry as a nuns c....

(I'm sure you can work out the rest...)

KIP · Post by **KIP** » Monday Jun 04, 2007 12:35 pm

geebz wrote:hungry enough to eat the crotch out of a prosties undies

tighter than a fishes arsehole.

more excuses than a pregnant nun

Good ones, mate.

blandy · Post by **blandy** » Monday Jun 04, 2007 12:40 pm

DJ wrote:my mouth is as dry as a nuns c....

(I'm sure you can work out the rest...)

or as tight as a...

mobydick · Post by **mobydick** » Sunday Jun 10, 2007 11:49 am

I was flat out like a lizard drinking, but as happy as a dog with two tails. But to cut the crap, I was about as useful as an ash tray on a motorbike. It was hard yakka, and no day at the beach with a dozen cans, even though I had donned me budgie smugglers. We all worked our rings off apart from the pussies, but then they wouldn't work in an iron lung. Long story short, we ended up at the rubbidy with some Nigel who wouldn't shout if a shark bit him. He was as mad as a cut snake, three sheets to the wind, and straight-up, a Valiant short of a car park. The barmaid was a top sort, though she had a dial like a smacked arse, and a 12 bolt diff. Still we all agreed we'd like to give her one. We'd sunk a few schooners by this point and my mate put the hard word on her, suggesting he'd like to take here horizontal folk dancing. He'd have had more luck with the one armed bandits. I pointed out that even though he was playing an away game, he wouldn't get a guernsey as she batted for the other team judging from the hairy armpits. We tied one too many on resulting in me waking up with a bastard and a mouth like the bottom of a cocky's cage. I drove the porcelain bus home last night, went arse over in the bog and fair dinkum there was chuck from arseole to breakfast time. I had another technicolour yawn at sparrow fart that will keep Edgell in diced carrots 'til the Pies win another premiership! So hungry now I could eat the crotch out of a low flying duck. Still I wouldn't be dead for quids.

Tipsy · Post by **Tipsy** » Sunday Jun 10, 2007 4:15 pm

Boonie · Post by **Boonie** » Sunday Jun 10, 2007 4:37 pm

Pure Gold

Rysa · Post by **Rysa** » Sunday Jun 10, 2007 5:16 pm

That's good.
It has grown somewhat since i last read it.

Flippo · Post by **Flippo** » Wednesday Jun 13, 2007 4:29 pm

So hungry I could eat the wheels off a menstrual cycle

Busier than a bricklayer in Baghdad

gregb · Post by **gregb** » Wednesday Jun 13, 2007 7:56 pm

Flippo wrote:Busier than a bricklayer in Baghdad

Used to be a brikie in Beruit, but that conflict ended (or at least got off of the front page. )

Cheers,
Greg

Danzar · Post by **Danzar** » Wednesday Jun 13, 2007 9:18 pm

Pale_Ale wrote:a face like a smashed pie

"She's got a head like a deep sea racing prawn".

Nah, ugly as a hat full of assholes.