Beer Smuggling

[Tim...]

Alright, so me and some mates are going to a music festival (the kind where you camp there for a couple of nights), and at this music festival you can't bring alcohol in. You can buy it there, but its vb, and it costs about $7 a can. Last year we smuggled in a couple of spirit bottles hidden in the car. That worked fine, but spirits don't cut it. I want something that tastes nice, and makes trip over your own feet. So we are looking into smuggling in some homebrew. One of the original plans was to use a corny keg, and shove a sticker on it that says "LPG", and have it up against the back of the boot. But we are worried if they know what a LPG tank is meant to look like. (Yes, they search your cars if you didn't get that by now )

Well, just today, I was getting some coke out of the fridge, and i reaaalllyyyy started craving stout. Then it hit me. Bottle a batch of homebrew stout into coke bottles! Who would ever suspect a bunch of coke bottles in the bottom of an esky?

Now my question to you guys is to help me finish this plan. The stout I was planning on brewing is a toucan James Squire Oatmeal stout + (shit! what was the second can?) as it is on sale at brewcraft, both for $20 (slightly past the best before date, does that matter much?). Will this turn out too dark to look like coke? Does anyone have any recommendations on what brew will look like coke in the bottle? Also, should I replace the little plastic circle in the caps before using them?

Thanks
Tim

[bottle top]

I've tried this a couple of times at the cricket with mixed results.

I reckon you're better off using the homebrand cola bottles as some of these come with unmarked lids which you can replace with new lids from your HBS (so the seals will not be broken). The final result should be indistinguishable from cola at first glance, expect for the yeast in the bottom. If you keg first then decant into PET you could overcome this, otherwise just risk it.

Also, homebrand ginger ale is a nice generic amber colour if you want some variety

For the record of the twice we tried this on the crack security at the Adelaide oval, once resulted in an awesome cheap day of booze at the cricket, the other in the humiliation of having lovingly crafted homebrew poured out in the car park (not to mention loss at the hands of India...).

[gregb]

...its vb, and it costs about $7 a can.

Even sobriety starts to look appealing.

Bottle top is on the money with the generic brands and unmarked lids.

Bunderberg finger beer has a 750ml brown glass bottle with a PET lid. Try to source some yellow PET caps and you would have to be dead unlucky to get caught. Bundy GB has crap at the bottom and is cloudy. As close to indistinguishable in a sealed bottle to beer as you will get.

Good luck, and let us know how you go.

Cheers,
Greg

[Danzar]

To throw them off the scent, use a sacrificial decoy. Half a case or a case of VB either stashed or in complete plain sight (you either give them a sheepish "I'm busted look" if they find that stash or if they are in plain sight, argue you didn't know).

This would make a crate of coke bottles look less suspicious.

Make sure one or two bottles that are easiest to reach actually contain coke.

[Tim...]

Security isnt as tight as it would be with drinks at cricket. They do a quick search of your car, will open the esky, and see coke, then continue on. Last year there barley even searched one of the cars we had. They opened the boot, saw it was packed with bags, and just put their hands in the gap between some of the bags. Never even opened the esky. I think mostly they expect to find slabs of VB from people who didnt read the rules.

Saw a car full of guys get caught with a slab of VB, the security let them scull as much as they could right there before going in. 3 guys each got through about 4 cans each and then the rest was confiscated. The security must get sooo much free booze.

Also, the brew is being upgraded. We decided to make a stout at about 10% abv. Nothing wrong with more bang for your buck! Is this going to be way too dark now? (Something like a 3 can with a bit of DME maybe).

[Tim...]

...its vb, and it costs about $7 a can.

Even sobriety starts to look appealing.

Bottle top is on the money with the generic brands and unmarked lids.

Bunderberg finger beer has a 750ml brown glass bottle with a PET lid. Try to source some yellow PET caps and you would have to be dead unlucky to get caught. Bundy GB has crap at the bottom and is cloudy. As close to indistinguishable in a sealed bottle to beer as you will get.

Good luck, and let us know how you go.

Cheers,
Greg

Yea, I'm gonna go for a walk to the supermarket soon, and see what sort of bottles they have.

To throw them off the scent, use a sacrificial decoy. Half a case or a case of VB either stashed or in complete plain sight (you either give them a sheepish "I'm busted look" if they find that stash or if they are in plain sight, argue you didn't know).

This would make a crate of coke bottles look less suspicious.

Make sure one or two bottles that are easiest to reach actually contain coke.

We will have actual coke anyway (can't live just on beer... ... ... or can you... ... (that, and we have some non beer drinkers)). I'm skeptical about the VB thing, as A) I will cry at night knowing I had to transport half a case of VB in the car, and B) They may search our car even more if they found some alcohol.

[drsmurto]

how long before the music festival - big 10% stout will take quite a few months to balance out- yes it will be drinkable and if thats all your after, job done.

I'm will greg on the price of VB - faaaaark that.

Hip flasks of scotch/bourbon/poison of choice?

I would have thought that a crate full of coke bottles would look suspicious - if i was security i would be thinking they are either mixers for alcohol or not coke.

[Kevnlis]

If you could figure out how to pry the cap off with the ring still attached you would be set! They would not suspect you had gotten through the security seal. I have tried but only managed to take chunks out of the bottle top and to spray coke everywhere.

[Chris]

What is the world coming to? They claim it's for your own safety, but then let you get slaughtered on expensive, poor-quality beer. It's not for safety, it's for maximising profit. Bastards!

[Tim...]

how long before the music festival - big 10% stout will take quite a few months to balance out- yes it will be drinkable and if thats all your after, job done.

I'm will greg on the price of VB - faaaaark that.

Hip flasks of scotch/bourbon/poison of choice?

I would have thought that a crate full of coke bottles would look suspicious - if i was security i would be thinking they are either mixers for alcohol or not coke.

mm maybe your right with the strength thing. A 3can stout should be 8.2% how does that sound for aging? Oh and the music festival happens to be over new years So thats about 9-10 weeks away.

Not a big fan of spirits these days, the alcohols there, but I prefer something that is really nice to drink.

If you could figure out how to pry the cap off with the ring still attached you would be set! They would not suspect you had gotten through the security seal. I have tried but only managed to take chunks out of the bottle top and to spray coke everywhere. Laughing

Or i can do a slight gluing job on the sealer ring. We wont be resealing them afterwards.

[Kevnlis]

Or i can do a slight gluing job on the sealer ring. We wont be resealing them afterwards.

Not bad! Maybe a thin coat of epoxy on a piece of paper and just roll the bottom of each cap and the top of each ring then join, dry and reseal. I may have to give this a go

[Chris]

I think the best idea is resealing with the new lids. That would have to work. An intact ring. Read into that what you will. I'm looking at you Boonie.

[Tim...]

Our recipe so far stands as follows:

2 Can Stout
- James Squire Oatmeal Stout
- James Squire (maybe its Amber Ale?)
750g LDME
750g DDME
S-04 Yeast (Thanks drsmurto)

Made to 21L, primary for 1 week, racked to sec for 1 week.

This gives about 8.7% with a final SG of 1021. How would the colour be on that (the LDME was to hopefully make it slightly lighter in colour to look like coke.)

[drsmurto]

maybe switch the yeast to S-04. Will drop out after clear once its done chewing thru all the sugars.

[Tim...]

maybe switch the yeast to S-04. Will drop out after clear once its done chewing thru all the sugars.

Cheers, updated.

[Rabbitz]

Tim...,

Can I suggest you grab a bottle of Coke and hold it up to the light. It is actually quite a red colour.

So to hand over to the chemists (or is that alchemists?) here. Would a a few drops of red food dye at bottling do any harm?

Rabz

[Kevnlis]

No harm if you add a bit of food colouring.

I would do Wassa's Honey Porter looks pretty close and is a very good drop!

[Tim...]

Tim...,

Can I suggest you grab a bottle of Coke and hold it up to the light. It is actually quite a red colour.

So to hand over to the chemists (or is that alchemists?) here. Would a a few drops of red food dye at bottling do any harm?

Rabz

Yes, I know I was hoping (and almost certain) that they would open the esky, see the coke bottles (and caps), and not investigate further. I don't think they expect crafty tricks like this.

Also, the beer is going to be divyed up between three cars, and the car with the most beer, we put all the girls in. (Worked well with the spirits last year, even though we hid them so bloody well that the CSI team wouldn't be able to find them).

[timmy]

How about investing in a couple of those Tap-a-draft whatsits? They are small enough to conceal in your boot and then you chuck 'em in the esky when you get there. They're not cheap to buy but they appear to be ideally suited to these sorts of events.
Or you could make your own plastic keg setup like Graham Sanders has on his site that is adapted from one of those plastic weed sprayers from the garden centre. Then camoflauge it as a BBQ gas bottle....

[Tim...]

How about investing in a couple of those Tap-a-draft whatsits? They are small enough to conceal in your boot and then you chuck 'em in the esky when you get there. They're not cheap to buy but they appear to be ideally suited to these sorts of events.
Or you could make your own plastic keg setup like Graham Sanders has on his site that is adapted from one of those plastic weed sprayers from the garden centre. Then camoflauge it as a BBQ gas bottle....

Too much effort with the tap-a-draft (and cost). Also, can't bring in any BBQ equipment. Thats almost worse than bringing in alcohol there Too much chance of a fire, and there are 10,000 people camping there, so the tents are too close to each other to have flames.